How many people does it take to improve symptoms of vaginismus? The answer can be many!

While the physical symptoms of vaginismus are often most widely recognized, many are surprised by the fact that emotional, psychological, and even religious factors can contribute to the development of this disorder. In fact, vaginismus is significantly more prevalent in religious cultures and communities compared to the general population.

This is most commonly explained by considering the overt and covert messages about sex that, sometimes unintentionally, can accompany religious rhetoric. For example, in cultures in which sex is only permissible after marriage, it is common for adolescents to grow up believing that sex is sinful and wrong, rather than being taught that sex can be wonderful, albeit within a particular context. When conversations about sex feel taboo, and even shameful, it can be hard to rewire our thinking about sex even within a “more appropriate” context. As a result, rather than sex being about intimacy and pleasure, sexual encounters can often bring up feelings of guilt, anxiety, and shame, and prevent one from being able to feel relaxed and present in the experience.

This might make you wonder, where are people learning about sex anyway?

According to some research, the majority of people initially learn about sex from peers, some learn about sex from books or movies, and a small number of people learn about sex from their parents. This begs the question: what information are people actually receiving about sex, and is it even accurate?

So, how can we do better? Here is where parents can play an integral role in the way their children view their sexuality. Beginning early in childhood, parents can set the stage for healthy sexual development by correctly labeling genitals and their functions, including being potential sources of pleasure.

As a child grows up, and religious values and expectations take a more center stage, honest and accurate information becomes even more crucial, as misinformation about sex is a significant risk factor for vaginismus. While these values may include prohibitions about sex, such as waiting until marriage to have sex, it is important to acknowledge positive religious views about sex as well and explore potential feelings of guilt or shame around sex that may be connected to religious values. Maintaining an open channel of communication can also decrease anxiety about sex and allow for room for questions and concerns relating to one’s sexual feelings. Once one is ready to become sexually active, awareness is key! Know what you can expect, when to seek help, and that sex is meant to be pleasurable, not painful. Finally, there is no shame in needing support to figure things out. Whether you choose to turn to a trusted therapist or an old friend, support can make all the difference to feel less alone on your healing journey.

Zehava Gros Schwartzblatt is a clinical psychology doctoral candidate at Long Island University Post. She is currently conducting research on the experiences of women with vaginismus who grew up in the Orthodox Jewish community. She can be reached at zehava.grosschwartzblatt@my.liu.edu.

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